I’m posting this here to raise awareness. Everyone should know that someone who is HIV+ and on effective medication poses zero risk of passing on the virus to others, and they can live a long healthy life thanks to the treatments that are available.
MeanCustardCreme on
This whole article is a mess and full of contradictions.
>”Among heterosexual men and women in London, diagnoses rose by 14% last year and outside London by 11%,”
Okay, so looks like it’s a bit of a problem, isn’t it? Yet at the same time:
>Ellie is keen to help remove the stigma once and for all.
Should removing the stigma really be the key thing? Because according to the article stats, there’s not *enough* of a stigma around it. I mean, okay, we should educate people, however I’d like to understand how you plan tackle a rise in the spread of HIV whilst trying to “normalise” it, because this could do more harm than good.
Personal_Lab_484 on
Funnily enough you’re far less likely to get HIV from someone who knows they have it.
Because they will be on treatment and have a count so low they can’t pass it on. If you want you can do prep and make it even less likely ( it’s already a 0% chance but if it makes you feel better)
The HIV that’s gonna get a straight male is from a woman who thinks she’s fine. It’s the lack of testing that gets you.
It wouldn’t be a an issue for me at all if they were open about it and could show me a test for their count.
sbos_ on
> From spending hours swiping on apps to navigating sticky situationships, it’s no secret that dating is harder than ever
Is there a conversation to be had that maybe dating apps are the issue? All that time swiping that can be used for more productive things like going outside or refining your skills
Just asking tbh. It kind a makes sense why this generation is struggling. Especially in views towards marriage etc.
Just asking. And would love to hear thoughts
DoubleXFemale on
I understand that HIV is easier to live with, but I wish my fellow straight people would take safe sex more seriously.
I’ve had way too many “girl talks” with women who have the attitude that if they’re on the pill/implant/injection or have had their tubes tied, then one night stands with strangers without condoms is just fine.
GrapefruitBig5149 on
Medication or not, nobody is going to take that risk I’m sorry. This is the reason there is hiv dating and things like that.
ParkedUpWithCoffee on
My expectation would be someone with HIV is going to find their dating pool as extremely limited.
I can’t believe anyone would be surprised by it. Even with the anti-viral treatments, it’s going to be something that most people will exclude from their dating pool.
Minimum-Geologist-58 on
My trouble, being honest, is that while I absolutely know about HIV treatments, I was born in the 80s and society hardwired all that “deadly gay plague” stuff into my brain so thoroughly that I absolutely could not bring myself to overlook it, I would be utterly flaccid and in fear of my life!
I hope the younger generation can be more enlightened about such things!
Thin_Formal_3727 on
I’m not risking having a life long issue for some tinder girl.
If this was about a guy, nobody would expect a girl to take that risk.
It shouldn’t be a suprise that HIV is still a red flag. I hope she finds the right person, but you should 100% expect it to be a tougher journey for you.
randomusername123xyz on
I’m sorry but how can anyone be surprised that people are going to have a negative reaction to a romantic opportunity with someone who has one of the worst sexually transmitted diseases? It’s awful for the girl but it’s a perfectly understandable human response.
test_test_1_2_3 on
What exactly is the issue here? HIV is transmissible through sex, yes medication can ‘eliminate’ that risk of the person is taking their meds but let’s not pretend like it there is no residual risk.
Most people aren’t going to want to take that risk, even the people who are more educated than the ones who think you can get it from kissing. I would never personally be willing to take that risk and I’d immediately end any further contact with a potential romantic partner if they revealed they had it.
Surely there’s apps or dating sites for this type of scenario?
AtillaThePundit on
Who knew aids would be a deal breaker on a dating app! What a crazy world we live in.
spuckthew on
Obviously it’s not cool to ridicule people for being HIV positive, but I think it’s totally fair for people to be put off by someone from a dating sense. Regardless of treatment, the idea of it _is_ scary and people would want to avoid risking catching it – even if that risk is practically zero.
Also, it raises concerns around their level of sex education. Maybe a condom broke and that’s really fucking unlucky, but I’d be wary if they were going around having unprotected sex in a past life.
bellpunk on
medically illiterate comment section whose primary public health advocacy idea is ‘we need to restigmatise illness. has anyone considered this?’
Exxtraa on
The man often gets a bad rep for not wanting to use protection but it’s surprisingly high how many women don’t care for it. I’ve often had to ask and it almost feels like a chore that they have to dig one out or they say they’re on the pill (with zero concern for anything else). I’m intrigued to know how she contracted it.
It’s still a risk despite modern medication many wouldn’t feel comfortable with.
ravado2434 on
I think the comments in this thread are a bit disappointing and close minded.
As OP has repeatedly said, if somebody is on medication and taking it correctly there is no risk of them transmitting the disease to another person. The level of the HIV virus in their bloodstream is so low, it’s undetectable. Undetectable = Untransmissible
There’s still so much historic stigma around HIV that it’s understandable that people might have a negative reaction when they initially hear a potential partner has it.
But wouldnt it be great if we managed to de stigmatise it and focus on the objective risk – which is zero. I think that would make the world a better place for the 100,000 people in the UK that are HIV positive. We could reach a point where it’s not seen as a big deal at all.
I think she’s to be commended for speaking out 🙂
Mexijim on
People diagnosed with HIV in 2024 have a longer life expectancy than people diagnosed with diabetes in 2024.
That being said, HIV / AIDS is a disease of biblical misery to the body. Your own organs eventually decay to a state of zero immunity, even to your own gut bacteria.
I would gladly kiss / shake hands with somebody who has HIV. I would not be happy to have un-protected sex with them. Call me bigoted / judgemental all you like, I do not want HIV, no-matter how small the risk.
bulldog_blues on
The stigma that remains against people with HIV is despicable.
It’s one thing to no longer be interested in a relationship with someone with HIV – you have the right to end things for any reason. But it’s clear that many still have outdated notions on what life with HIV is like, and believe falsehoods about it being transmissible via kissing which is provably false.
And that’s not even getting into the medical discrimination against many HIV positive people…
Reasoned_Watercress on
Just put it in your profile instead of wasting anyone’s time with 2 dates first. Then the people who don’t want to deal with it are weeded out, no crying needed.
DavidReimer- on
Pretty bizarre to be surprised that most men don’t want to risk a life-long disease just to get their rocks off.
psrandom on
Is medical science advanced enough to stop transmission of HIV? Yes
Would I trust someone from Tinder/Bumble to follow up on medication and be honest about themselves? No
thegerbilmaster on
Of course there is a risk. The situation isn’t in your control, that always carries a risk. To suggest otherwise is a bit naive.
Learning-Power on
It would be a cost-free law/policy to require dating apps to give people the >option< of uploading recent test results.
I think this would be a useful law for our government to introduce.
Currently, with the NHS, certification of results costs about £50 I think. Long-term it would be ideal to have a cheaper way of having verified and shareable test results.
expensivebreadsticks on
Lol get fucked, why should these men care if her feelings are hurt, a hookup is absolutely not worth the risk, and I would’ve thought it’s quite simple to understand
MundaneImprovement27 on
Medication is so much better now, though perhaps still very long term risks with kidneys and cognitive decline, but the whole stigma thing needs to go. Going for a test still feels scary (been there) but far less impact than say getting type 2 diabetes, but we don’t stigmatise people for getting that
Careless_Waltz_9802 on
turns out being a massive slag, male or female, has repercussions
sabalatotoololol on
A whore is surprised she got an std 🤣 this is pure gold
Incontinentiabutts on
Yeah, being hiv positive would be a deal breaker for me. No kids in the future, constant risk of infection. Major hurdle that most guys are not going to to be bothered with wanting to overcome.
That’s sad for her and people like her and I empathize with how lonely and isolating it must feel. It wouldn’t stop me being friends with somebody. But there would be no chance for dating.
Also, let’s be real…. Most people judge those with hiv as either being a drug user or someone who slept around so much without using protection. they got infected. They aren’t necessarily true, but also stereotypes do come from somewhere.
Thin_Formal_3727 on
If you bothered to read this thread, you would see that I, in absolutely no way have even insinuated that HIV medications are ineffective. Never made that claim on the smallest of levels. So just take you’re ‘L’ and get some reading skills.
DinosaurInAPartyHat on
If I had HIV I wouldn’t date.
Nor would I date a man with any STD.
I don’t think people are wrong to be afraid of getting HIV. And medication is not foolproof, there’s no such thing as 100% safe even if taken perfectly.
PoetQueasy1167 on
I’m sorry but a stigma against HIV is pretty warranted. I know that it’s not the death sentence it used to be and medication today basically ‘cure’ it. But how can people be surprised that people are put off by the idea of interacting with someone who has a incurable virus that will kill you if you don’t take a regimented series of drugs your entire life.
It’s awful that this girl contracted HIV, but dating apps are not the place to find someone who would be understanding of issues like this.
31 Comments
I’m posting this here to raise awareness. Everyone should know that someone who is HIV+ and on effective medication poses zero risk of passing on the virus to others, and they can live a long healthy life thanks to the treatments that are available.
This whole article is a mess and full of contradictions.
>”Among heterosexual men and women in London, diagnoses rose by 14% last year and outside London by 11%,”
Okay, so looks like it’s a bit of a problem, isn’t it? Yet at the same time:
>Ellie is keen to help remove the stigma once and for all.
Should removing the stigma really be the key thing? Because according to the article stats, there’s not *enough* of a stigma around it. I mean, okay, we should educate people, however I’d like to understand how you plan tackle a rise in the spread of HIV whilst trying to “normalise” it, because this could do more harm than good.
Funnily enough you’re far less likely to get HIV from someone who knows they have it.
Because they will be on treatment and have a count so low they can’t pass it on. If you want you can do prep and make it even less likely ( it’s already a 0% chance but if it makes you feel better)
The HIV that’s gonna get a straight male is from a woman who thinks she’s fine. It’s the lack of testing that gets you.
It wouldn’t be a an issue for me at all if they were open about it and could show me a test for their count.
> From spending hours swiping on apps to navigating sticky situationships, it’s no secret that dating is harder than ever
Is there a conversation to be had that maybe dating apps are the issue? All that time swiping that can be used for more productive things like going outside or refining your skills
Just asking tbh. It kind a makes sense why this generation is struggling. Especially in views towards marriage etc.
Just asking. And would love to hear thoughts
I understand that HIV is easier to live with, but I wish my fellow straight people would take safe sex more seriously.
I’ve had way too many “girl talks” with women who have the attitude that if they’re on the pill/implant/injection or have had their tubes tied, then one night stands with strangers without condoms is just fine.
Medication or not, nobody is going to take that risk I’m sorry. This is the reason there is hiv dating and things like that.
My expectation would be someone with HIV is going to find their dating pool as extremely limited.
I can’t believe anyone would be surprised by it. Even with the anti-viral treatments, it’s going to be something that most people will exclude from their dating pool.
My trouble, being honest, is that while I absolutely know about HIV treatments, I was born in the 80s and society hardwired all that “deadly gay plague” stuff into my brain so thoroughly that I absolutely could not bring myself to overlook it, I would be utterly flaccid and in fear of my life!
I hope the younger generation can be more enlightened about such things!
I’m not risking having a life long issue for some tinder girl.
If this was about a guy, nobody would expect a girl to take that risk.
It shouldn’t be a suprise that HIV is still a red flag. I hope she finds the right person, but you should 100% expect it to be a tougher journey for you.
I’m sorry but how can anyone be surprised that people are going to have a negative reaction to a romantic opportunity with someone who has one of the worst sexually transmitted diseases? It’s awful for the girl but it’s a perfectly understandable human response.
What exactly is the issue here? HIV is transmissible through sex, yes medication can ‘eliminate’ that risk of the person is taking their meds but let’s not pretend like it there is no residual risk.
Most people aren’t going to want to take that risk, even the people who are more educated than the ones who think you can get it from kissing. I would never personally be willing to take that risk and I’d immediately end any further contact with a potential romantic partner if they revealed they had it.
Surely there’s apps or dating sites for this type of scenario?
Who knew aids would be a deal breaker on a dating app! What a crazy world we live in.
Obviously it’s not cool to ridicule people for being HIV positive, but I think it’s totally fair for people to be put off by someone from a dating sense. Regardless of treatment, the idea of it _is_ scary and people would want to avoid risking catching it – even if that risk is practically zero.
Also, it raises concerns around their level of sex education. Maybe a condom broke and that’s really fucking unlucky, but I’d be wary if they were going around having unprotected sex in a past life.
medically illiterate comment section whose primary public health advocacy idea is ‘we need to restigmatise illness. has anyone considered this?’
The man often gets a bad rep for not wanting to use protection but it’s surprisingly high how many women don’t care for it. I’ve often had to ask and it almost feels like a chore that they have to dig one out or they say they’re on the pill (with zero concern for anything else). I’m intrigued to know how she contracted it.
It’s still a risk despite modern medication many wouldn’t feel comfortable with.
I think the comments in this thread are a bit disappointing and close minded.
As OP has repeatedly said, if somebody is on medication and taking it correctly there is no risk of them transmitting the disease to another person. The level of the HIV virus in their bloodstream is so low, it’s undetectable. Undetectable = Untransmissible
There’s still so much historic stigma around HIV that it’s understandable that people might have a negative reaction when they initially hear a potential partner has it.
But wouldnt it be great if we managed to de stigmatise it and focus on the objective risk – which is zero. I think that would make the world a better place for the 100,000 people in the UK that are HIV positive. We could reach a point where it’s not seen as a big deal at all.
I think she’s to be commended for speaking out 🙂
People diagnosed with HIV in 2024 have a longer life expectancy than people diagnosed with diabetes in 2024.
That being said, HIV / AIDS is a disease of biblical misery to the body. Your own organs eventually decay to a state of zero immunity, even to your own gut bacteria.
I would gladly kiss / shake hands with somebody who has HIV. I would not be happy to have un-protected sex with them. Call me bigoted / judgemental all you like, I do not want HIV, no-matter how small the risk.
The stigma that remains against people with HIV is despicable.
It’s one thing to no longer be interested in a relationship with someone with HIV – you have the right to end things for any reason. But it’s clear that many still have outdated notions on what life with HIV is like, and believe falsehoods about it being transmissible via kissing which is provably false.
And that’s not even getting into the medical discrimination against many HIV positive people…
Just put it in your profile instead of wasting anyone’s time with 2 dates first. Then the people who don’t want to deal with it are weeded out, no crying needed.
Pretty bizarre to be surprised that most men don’t want to risk a life-long disease just to get their rocks off.
Is medical science advanced enough to stop transmission of HIV? Yes
Would I trust someone from Tinder/Bumble to follow up on medication and be honest about themselves? No
Of course there is a risk. The situation isn’t in your control, that always carries a risk. To suggest otherwise is a bit naive.
It would be a cost-free law/policy to require dating apps to give people the >option< of uploading recent test results.
I think this would be a useful law for our government to introduce.
Currently, with the NHS, certification of results costs about £50 I think. Long-term it would be ideal to have a cheaper way of having verified and shareable test results.
Lol get fucked, why should these men care if her feelings are hurt, a hookup is absolutely not worth the risk, and I would’ve thought it’s quite simple to understand
Medication is so much better now, though perhaps still very long term risks with kidneys and cognitive decline, but the whole stigma thing needs to go. Going for a test still feels scary (been there) but far less impact than say getting type 2 diabetes, but we don’t stigmatise people for getting that
turns out being a massive slag, male or female, has repercussions
A whore is surprised she got an std 🤣 this is pure gold
Yeah, being hiv positive would be a deal breaker for me. No kids in the future, constant risk of infection. Major hurdle that most guys are not going to to be bothered with wanting to overcome.
That’s sad for her and people like her and I empathize with how lonely and isolating it must feel. It wouldn’t stop me being friends with somebody. But there would be no chance for dating.
Also, let’s be real…. Most people judge those with hiv as either being a drug user or someone who slept around so much without using protection. they got infected. They aren’t necessarily true, but also stereotypes do come from somewhere.
If you bothered to read this thread, you would see that I, in absolutely no way have even insinuated that HIV medications are ineffective. Never made that claim on the smallest of levels. So just take you’re ‘L’ and get some reading skills.
If I had HIV I wouldn’t date.
Nor would I date a man with any STD.
I don’t think people are wrong to be afraid of getting HIV. And medication is not foolproof, there’s no such thing as 100% safe even if taken perfectly.
I’m sorry but a stigma against HIV is pretty warranted. I know that it’s not the death sentence it used to be and medication today basically ‘cure’ it. But how can people be surprised that people are put off by the idea of interacting with someone who has a incurable virus that will kill you if you don’t take a regimented series of drugs your entire life.
It’s awful that this girl contracted HIV, but dating apps are not the place to find someone who would be understanding of issues like this.