Vedova del soldato ucraino: “Sono caduta a terra e ho urlato. Poi, in qualche modo, sono strisciato fino a casa e ho iniziato a distruggere tutto quello che c’era dentro. Ho urlato. Ho urlato a Dio. Lo odiavo. Perché avevo pregato così tanto. Non riuscivo a capire come potesse farmi questo”.

# A Meeting at a Nighttime Train Station

“I connected with Oleksandr on social media page and liked one of his photos. He messaged me in response. This was in 2017. When we met, he was preparing for another deployment to the war zone,” Bohdana recalls.

“We didn’t have time for romance because he was already leaving for the war. It seems like we fell in love immediately,” she says.

The couple tried to seize every moment to see each other. One evening, Oleksandr told Bohdana he would be passing through Lviv and would have a few minutes to meet her. 

“The train stopped where freight trains usually do. It was impossible to get there, but we were desperate to meet. I climbed over fences and crawled between the trains. The railway workers chased after me, and Oleksandr kept apologizing for my actions,” Bohdana says, laughing.

In 2020, on Bohdana’s birthday, Oleksandr proposed to her, and they got married six months later.

# Together in Joy, Together in Sorrow, Together in War

Two weeks before the full-scale invasion, Oleksandr suddenly started talking a lot about the war and checking his equipment. She noticed that her husband was in frequent contact with his mates, discussing where they would mobilize.

“On the night of February 24, we stayed up until morning talking. He kept going out to the balcony to smoke. He had a terrible sense of foreboding. At six in the morning, my mother ran in and said it had begun,” Bohdana recalls.

“I gave him an ultimatum: if you go to war, you take me with you. We went to the military recruitment office together, and his documents were immediately accepted. They also took mine. I’m a food technology specialist by profession. They asked me, ‘Do you cook well?’ I pointed at my husband and said, ‘I fattened him up.’ But when Oleksandr found out there were no openings for cooks, I decided to go home and immediately threw myself into volunteering,” Bohdana says.

# Living with the Phone

From then on, the she lived with her phone always in hand. A short daily call when his unit was in the Kherson region brought her peace of mind. But when his unit moved to the Donetsk region, Oleksandr could only call once every 10 days.

Bohdana eventually learned of Oleksandr’s death from his father, who received the official notification.

“The moment I understood what had happened, I turned and walked into traffic. I didn’t want to live. But my dog saved me. She refused to cross the road and pulled me back with her leash,” Bohdana recalls. Then Bohdana called her mom to come:

“I gave her the dog and fell to the ground and screamed. Then somehow, I crawled to the house and started smashing everything inside. I screamed. I screamed at God. I hated Him. Because I had prayed so much. I couldn’t understand how He could do this to me”

# Life After…

Since his funeral, Bohdana visits Oleksandr’s grave daily at Mars Field Cemetery in Lviv. Over time, she found support among other women who had also lost loved ones. Together, they form what Bohdana calls her “Mars family.” Sometimes she comes before work, and sometimes after. She bring sandwiches and eats them there. She said this is the only place she feels she truly belongs. 

“After his death, they gave me his phone, and I saw the messages that hadn’t been sent. In them, he wrote how much he loved me, that I was the best wife, and every message ended with the words: *’Be smart.’* I used to hate that phrase because it felt to me like he was saying goodbye,” Bohdana says.

“Now I try to live according to his last messages to me. He always told me to be smart and stay strong. I tattooed those words on myself to remind me every day of the strength he saw in me,” she says.

[https://suspilne.media/lviv/869925-a-lezala-na-zemli-ta-kricala-istoria-druzini-zagiblogo-bijca/](https://suspilne.media/lviv/869925-a-lezala-na-zemli-ta-kricala-istoria-druzini-zagiblogo-bijca/)

So So sorry for the pain that you must feel. This Canadian hopes for your deserved freedom and I am

very saddened that so many brave, strong loving people like your husband loose the long healthy happy life

which they deserved. Good people all over the world honour your Oleksandr